As a mom with ADHD, I often feel like a proverbial hamster spinning in its wheel made up of endless tasks and responsibilities. From managing household chores to attending to my kids’ needs, I constantly feel like I’m playing catch-up. Let me set the scene for you: I go to take out the trash because it’s become full. There are no more extra bags at the bottom of the bin so I open the cabinet where they usually live. It’s so cluttered in there that I can’t find them. So I start to take everything out in order to reorganize it. I finally find the trash bags and I go to make myself a cup of coffee, but the Keurig is out of water. I go to the sink to wash it out and refill it with new water and there are dishes piled up. So I start doing the dishes but the dishwasher is full. I unload the dishwasher, and and and…. The cycle just continues on and on and on.
This is often our everyday reality as moms with ADHD. This perpetual sense of being behind is so overwhelming and often leads to feelings of inadequacy and frustration. Trust me, I get it. However, I’ve found a few strategies that help me manage my ADHD and embrace the chaos.
Understanding My ADHD Brain
One of the first steps in my journey was understanding that ADHD affects my ability to focus, organize, and manage time. Realizing that this isn’t a character flaw but simply the way my brain works was crucial. It helped me reduce some of the self-imposed pressure and guilt I used to feel.
Practical Strategies That Work for Me
Creating a Daily Routine:
Structure is my lifesaver. I’ve developed a daily routine that includes specific times for household chores, meal prep, and dedicated moments with my kids. This consistency helps build habits and reduces the cognitive load of decision-making.
Prioritizing Tasks:
Not all tasks are created equal. I use a prioritization system to categorize tasks by urgency and importance. Focusing on high-priority tasks first and allowing myself to delegate or defer less critical activities has been a game-changer.
Using Visual Aids:
Visual reminders are my best friends. I use calendars, whiteboards, and apps to keep track of schedules, to-do lists, and deadlines. Color-coding tasks gives me a quick visual cue for prioritization. I don’t know how I was able to function before getting the Skylight Calendar – I highly recommend it for ADHD families!
Breaking Tasks into Smaller Steps:
Large tasks can feel overwhelming. By breaking them down into smaller, more manageable steps, I make them seem less daunting and enjoy a sense of accomplishment with each completed step. I love checking them off on my to-do list app as I complete them!
Setting Timers:
The Pomodoro Technique, which involves working for a set period (like 25 minutes) followed by a short break, helps me maintain focus and productivity. Setting timers also prevents me from hyper-focusing on one task at the expense of others. If you want a physical timer to use I recommend the Time Timer from Amazon.
Involving My Kids:
I turn chores into fun family activities. Involving my children in tasks like sorting laundry or setting the table not only helps lighten my load but also teaches them responsibility and teamwork. I started doing this when my son was old enough to walk and it’s become something I look forward to everyday.
Managing My Emotional Well-Being
Practicing Self-Compassion:
Being kind to myself is essential. I remind myself that perfection is not the goal. Celebrating small victories and acknowledging my efforts, even on days when things don’t go as planned, makes a big difference. Having my tasks written down somewhere really helps me visualize how much I’ve gotten done each day, especially when it feels like I accomplished nothing.
Seeking Support:
Connecting with other moms who have ADHD has been invaluable. Online forums, local support groups, and social media communities provide a sense of camaraderie and practical tips from those who understand my challenges. One of my favorite things to do is scroll through ADHD memes and silly videos, I can’t help but laugh and feel immense validation that I’m not alone in my struggles.
Professional Help:
Therapy has been a lifeline. A counselor who specializes in ADHD offers me tailored strategies and helps me develop coping mechanisms.
Mindfulness and Meditation:
Incorporating mindfulness practices into my daily routine reduces stress and improves focus. Simple techniques like deep breathing or short meditation sessions have made a significant impact on my well-being.
Delegating and Simplifying:
It’s okay to ask for help. Whether from my partner, family members, or hiring outside help for certain tasks, delegating eases my burden. Simplifying routines and reducing unnecessary commitments helps me focus on what truly matters.
Embracing Imperfection
Motherhood is challenging for everyone, but ADHD adds an extra layer of complexity. By implementing these strategies and embracing self-compassion, I manage my responsibilities more effectively and combat feelings of inadequacy. I remind myself daily that I’m doing an incredible job, and it’s okay to ask for help and take time for myself. Celebrating the unique strengths I bring to my family helps me realize I’m not alone on this journey. We are all in this together, learning and growing every step of the way.
In the end, I’ve learned that it’s about progress, not perfection. And that’s a lesson I want to pass on to my son. We may stumble and face challenges, but together, we can navigate the messiness of life with grace and resilience.
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